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I am trap behind a clouded smoke.

No escape or chance for help.

You look down on me and look gaze into my hazel glazed eyes.

They look up for help, secretly asking for your hand.

Help but only one touch to bring this lonely dead soul up.

Just a gentle warming of this cold heart.

But only the blood upon my hand does remain

I am enclosed in this corpse of flesh

My true self is hidden and anonymous

I’m really not that bad of a person to some

Other’s I’m complete stone walled.

My wall isn’t up because I’m not strong enough to lift it

I lean on the addiction to bring me down from fear and anger

All the hate and rage pent up into one little child





*I'm really sorry. I'm sorry to MannyBebop. I'm sorry to Amber. I'm sorry to Josi. I'm sorry to Sam (all of them). I'm sorry to my ex's especially Nicole and I'm sorry to her boyfriend.. I'm sorry to my parents. I'm sorry to everyone. I'm high right now and this is what I just wrote.I don't want to face reality.. I don't want to face it because of what my past and future holds and held for me. I feel so horrible all the time...this helps me. Helps me forgett whatever I need that is on my mind. God I can't stand it..I can never get out what I'm thinking..I can never say what I need too. Please forgive me.*